Smash Bros delayed again, Wikipedia vandalized again
Judging by the internet reaction, let me be a little trepidatious in my breaking some news to you. Sitting down? Are you comfortable? Would you like a soda? Isn’t Super Mario Galaxy such an awesome game? Have you heard of No More Heroes, coming out next week? That game should be great, too. Smash Bros has been delayed again.
No, stop, stop yelling! Listen, I said LISTEN! Put down the knife. Come on, things aren’t that bad. Look it isn’t a big deal, really. Yes I’m being serious. Stop swearing and start breathing a little, okay? The game has been delayed a week in Japan, okay? Not too bad, right? Yeah. The American release has only been pushed back 28 days… oh come on. I though you had calmed down. Yes, I see the knife. Yes, I know you’re serious. Look, whatever, you’re holding the knife wrong anyway. It is down the street, not across the lane, okay? You’re such a drama queen.
Yes, that’s right, those of you who haven’t attempted suicide in the last 10 hours, turbonerds everywhere have officially gone off the deep end once again. Last night, alongside a Pikmin stage update, Masahiro Sakurai announced another delay in the greatly anticipated Super Smash Bros Brawl. While the average amongst us probably responded with an internal “damn, that sucks,” the greatly scorned and harden bitter husks of former people took to the internet seeking retribution. The hardest hit, of course, was Wikipedia. Vandals went to town on Sakurai’s page, some with somewhat funny and others with downright pathetic edits.
Kind of funny (click on the picture to be brought to the Wikipedia history):
Kind of very pathetic (large segments of it, at least.)
Oh man, you edited Wikipedia to say that Sakurai is gay! Total BURN! Some guy, researching for his college thesis on Smash Bros, is going to view Wikipedia at that very second the edit lasted for and use it as his central argument! That guy is going to flunk out of school and be forced to work at a Gamestop, where he’ll become an arrogant asshole that makes snides remarks when you buy a game that doesn’t feature women with giant breasts! You win, dude. You so win!
Look, I understand that it sucks when games get delayed, but it happens. Rumor currently has it that either they hadn’t printed enough copies to have a full scale release or that they experienced some major bugs on the server side which would have affected online play. Either way, it doesn’t really matter. It is a god-damn videogame; be happy that you’re getting it eventually.
- Rob O’Reilly
