“My God,” you’d think. “Such wonders befuddle my primitive brain and confound my senses!”

“I know,” I’d say.

“You mean, every week, Nintendo puts up two more games for me to down…load?”

“You bet!”

“So, I can go play the awesome Mega Turrican and Fantasy Zone right now?!”

“Dear sweet Christ, yes.”

If you think of this week’s update in terms of how you’d react 15 years ago, things don’t seem so bad, huh?

- Rob O’Reilly

Not to be outdone by their own announcement of Sam and Max: Season 1, Telltale games has gone and done it again, announcing the first of a new episodic series to be distributed via Nintendo’s WiiWare service based on the Homestar Runner character Strongbad. A point and click adventure, Strongbad’s Cool Game for Attractive People will be the first episodic series made for the service. The first installment will be made available in June and new episodes will follow on a monthly schedule.

Pricing and release dates were not given. The games will also be made available for the PC, where they will be bundled together and sold as a season like Sam and Max. Still looking for more information? Well the video below will not give you that:

- Rob O’Reilly

Ikaruga, the bullet hell shooter to end all bullet hell shooters, has finally hit the Xbox Live Arcade. Originally released on the Dreamcast, then ported to the Gamecube, the game is infamous for its crushing difficulty. Here is what’s new to the downloadable version: 720p visuals, online co-op, replay video saving, and leaderboards. The game costs 800 points, or $10 IRL money, and is worth every penny.

The first person to rotate their 52″ plasma screen for the TATE mode wins the title of “Undisputed King of Gaming.”

Xbox.com: Ikaruga

- Rob O’Reilly

For the obsessive compulsive in your life, Nintendo is set to release a new Wii-white Gamecube controller to match your latest Nintendo console and hopefully quell the maddening voices shouting from the direction of your black/silver/orange/purple Gamecube controllers.

Like so many awesome Nintendo things, this one has only been announced for Japan so far. It will see its release later this month and cost 2,000 Yen, or roughly $20. Along with the new paint job, the controller will also feature a longer cord of nearly 10 ft, doubling the length of previous Gamecube controllers.

Nintendo.co.jp [via NeoGAF]

- Rob O’Reilly

Note to prospective employers: I will gladly sell out my punk rock ethos and churn out whatever pablum you require of me.

Anyway, one of the tricks of blogging is to essentially act as the audience’s RSS reader. So, for example, when Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw posts another of his world famous Zero Punctuation videos, you do a quick post informing your audience that he has done so. Despite the fact that your readers could have just as easily subscribed to Yahtzee’s RSS feed or have gotten themselves into the habit of checking the website every Wednesday, where a new video is put up like the rhythmic clockwork of a granola munching hippy’s lower intestine, you make your post with maybe three or four additional sentences and call it a job well done. You win, Yahtzee wins, and I die a little inside.

Now, at the cost of being painfully hypocritical, this week’s Zero Punctuation review is on No More Heroes, a game that I consider one of the Wii’s best. While not without its flaws, the game is easily one of the most unique and fun experiences you can have this generation. So, if for some god unknown reason you haven’t picked the game up, Amazon is currently selling the game for the rock-bottom price of $33.99 including shipping. You have very few legitimate excuses at this point. If you somehow need further convincing, why not check out Zero Punctuation’s review, embedded below for your viewing convenience?

Unless Zero Punctuation does something similarly poignant, I will assume you have successfully been made aware of Yahtzee’s existence.

- Rob O’Reilly

(1) - Gamesradar has taken a break from compiling lists of the biggest breasted videogame heroins and has this time compiled a list of amazing lost levels of classic and modern videogames. The lost Mario 3 levels are particularly interesting and thanks to the joys of modern emulation, if you are a filthy law breaking criminal unfit for even the darkest, dankest corners of the underworld, you can enjoy them right now! [via GoNintendo]

(2) - Rumor Alert: Gamepro is postulating that, thanks to a recent job posting, the developers behind the critically acclaimed Bioshock may be looking to bring the next installment in the series to both the Playstation 3 and the Nintendo Wii. Now, the Playstation 3 makes some sense, but the Wii? They’d have to do some serious work to get everything up and running properly. The original Bioshock ran off a modified Unreal 2.5 engine, something that theoretically could run on the Wii, so it isn’t too huge of a leap. However, if you’re a betting man: don’t bet any amount of money, theoretical or not, on Bioshock coming to the Wii. Do not do it!

(3) - The Exploding Barrel, a site whose namesake is derived from the generic action/shooter device of sprinkling barrels on the verge of explosion about a level, has a round up of generic looking knock-off consoles. Of note: the PolyStation, a cartridge accepting Playstation 1 knock-off. [via GoNintendo]

(4) - Gamepolitics is asking who you think the biggest political hypocrite is. Up for consideration: Boston Mayor Tom Menino, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gov. Kathleen Sebelius (of Kansas), Gov. Eliot Spitzer (of various Brothels and, I’m told, New York), and Keith Vaz (British Labour MP). My vote goes to Tom Menino, but, you know, I’m biased.

- Rob O’Reilly

After a full year of speculation, and repeated half-denials, Telltale Games has finally confirmed that its formerly PC-exclusive game, Sam and Max: Season 1, will be hitting Nintendo’s Wii sometime this fall. While the game will not have the luxury of being the first point-and-click adventure-style game available, that honor is reserved for that Agatha Christie game, it will most certainly be the best one available.

The game, which is now on its “Second Season,” is an episodic point-and-click adventure series following the exploits of the titular Sam and Max. The episodes are eventually collected into volumes at the end of each season and are available for download through Telltale’s website and Turner’s GameTap service. The Wii version will mark the first console release for the game.

A price or specific release date were not given. However, the developer is expected to reveal more about their upcoming WiiWare title next week, so these questions could potentially get answered sooner than later.

Telltale Games’ Press Release

- Rob O’Reilly

Rock Band is coming to the Wii, albeit as a port from the PS2 version without any attempt at taking advantage of the Wii’s unique features or even wireless instruments. There will be no downloadable content, no online play, and, to complete the lovely bucket-of-suck package, will cost the same as the Xbox 360 and PS3 version.

However, EA/MTV/Harmonix, if you do exactly what is seen above to the Wii’s drum peripheral, I will buy your quick cash-in on day one. If you follow suit and add similar graphics to the guitar and microphone, I will break into the store early and leave not only the MSRP, but a little something extra for your troubles. I will do this, EA/MTV/Harmonix. I promise.

via Destructoid

- Rob O’Reilly

]]> http://oreillywriter.com/gamefilter/2008/04/08/in-brief-this-how-rock-band-wii-should-look/feed/ http://oreillywriter.com/gamefilter/2008/04/08/english-101-sonic-unleashed-teaches-you-foreshadowing/ http://oreillywriter.com/gamefilter/2008/04/08/english-101-sonic-unleashed-teaches-you-foreshadowing/#comments Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:39:05 +0000 rob http://oreillywriter.com/gamefilter/?p=235 For those that fell asleep during the entirety of eighth grade English, didn’t pay attention during High School, and couldn’t possibly care any less about the humanities right now: here is one of the few situations where some knowledge of the English language can come in handy. Today’s lesson is on foreshadowing, a literary device that allows the author to hint future plot developments early in a story. For example, here is what I said about Sonic Unleashed a few weeks ago:

Suffice to say, things [are] looking really good. Of course, if you’re a Sega fan, you’ve probably learned by now to temper any excitement you feel when the company announces something; there is usually always a rub.

… see the topmost image above? The one with Sonic and some thing standing behind him? Well, that thing standing behind Sonic the Hedgehog is apparently Sonic the Hedgehog. Yes, too scared to just release a normal Sonic game with typical Sonic mechanics, Sega has yet again added a special gimmick for this outing: Sonic transforms into a werewolf! To perform melee attacks, no less!

Bravo Sega. You’re like the psycho ex-girlfriend you try and keep a friendly relationship with. For the most part, everything goes well and you can have fun together. But every once and a while they quickly and abruptly remind you why you decided to stop dating them in the first place.

Now, what I was doing there was setting up the premise that, despite looking good right now, Sonic Unleashed will most likely disappoint. Why will it disappoint? The Werewolf mechanic, right, you’re catching on. Now, watch the Sonic Unleashed debut trailer:

Do you see what I’m getting at? This example is great because not only do my previous comments, coupled with the video, serve as a form of foreshadowing, but the video itself is a form of foreshadowing! That werwolf’d Sonic claw trying to smash the golden ring establishes, early on in “the story,” that the melee-combat game mechanic will be trying to further destroy the Sonic series.

Thanks Sega, you’ve reaffirmed my faith in English studies.

via Joystiq

- Rob O’Reilly

The CopyNES, the aforementioned special device, looks like a very interesting piece of kit in and of itself. Once installed into an NES, the device will allow you to dump your NES games to your computer, offering you Americans the only legal way to obtain ROM images. However much that is worth is for you to decide.

Now, if we can just get Glider to support achievements and online co-op, we’ll be set!

Nintendo Wii Fanboy

- Rob O’Reilly

Amazingly, if MTV’s sources are to be believed, the folks at Microsoft don’t see it any differently either. Apparently, Microsoft is only creating this device so they can market the 360 point-for-point against the Wii. They’re even going to make their own version of Miis that will be forced into every game supporting the new rip-off controller. Microsoft’s controller will feature a few additions to the old vanilla Wii-remote, like a microphone, additional face buttons, an analog stick, and an LED light. The LED light will most likely be used in conjunction with the Xbox Vision Camera to simulate the IR pointer features of the Wii-remote.

Despite years-old rumors of Microsoft developing its own “Wand” controller and the scientific fact that every rumor about Microsoft eventually comes true, this news should be taken with the largest grain of salt available. The news just seems too preposterous and too complete of a copycat to be true. I mean, the MTV story even claims that Rare has been having trouble delivering the project on time, an assertion too perfect of a commentary on the company, so laser-precise of a criticism, that its inclusion in the story serves to show that everything is just completely and utterly flawless in its conception. It’s like that movie the Truman Show, just about videogames.

However, it should be said that MTV’s Multiplayer Blog is run by some upstanding game journalists, so keep this story in your periphery. If everything pans out, we should be hearing more about the device and its games before year’s end.

MTV News Story
MTV Multiplayer Image

- Rob O’Reilly

Like a gentle spring wind softly caressing your tufts of down-like hair, Lost Winds enters a space so sorely lacking, so arid dry, that despite revealing very little of the actual gameplay, its very presence captivates and entices you, leaving you wanting and wide-eyed like a child showing flimsy restraint before a Christmas tree.

Hrm, anyway, Lost Winds, a downloadable game set to launch with the North American WiiWare, is certainly looking promising. While we’ve only had screenshots to go off of, we can now finally confirm that the game does indeed include motion graphics. Things still look a little early, and with the NA launch of WiiWare still a few months away, it is still a little early to make any significant criticisms. At the very least it shows off the game’s basic gameplay concepts, which focus on using two “characters” at once. For more details check out our GDC round-up coverage from a few weeks ago.

IGN.com

- Rob O’Reilly

Yoshi’s Cookie (NES; 500 points) - What a treat. Sorta-fresh from the oven comes Nintendo’s Yoshi’s Cookie, a puzzle game originally released on the prehistoric NES. No need to worry about the usual Mario trappings here, as Mario takes off his plumbing hat and dons his baking hat to to make some cookies! Wait, those last few puns don’t really work, do they? Well, let’s count this as strike one, because…

Bases Loaded (NES; 500 points) - Nintendo has all its bases covered with Bases Loaded, a baseball game that, get this, plays like a baseball game. While some may claim Nintendo has swung a hit and a miss with this week’s update, others will surely say that they’ve struck out. One thing for sure, Nintendo sure did the Virtual Console equivalent of a mulligan this week. Dammit, that’s a golf analogy, isn’t it? Strike two, con-sarn-it.

Well, there you have it, this week’s new additions to the Virtual Console. No one is going to accuse Nintendo of using Virtual Console Growth Hormone, that’s for sure! At this rate, we’ll be lucky if next week’s offerings are even half-baked! Hey, maybe next week we’ll get some games that are better than mediocre!

Look, I know that last one isn’t a pun, but honestly, with this week, Nintendo just hit ball three, so I’m walking.

- Rob O’Reilly

Jade Raymond’s Metal Gear Solid 4 is currently set for a June 12th release on the PLAYSTATION 3 Computer Entertainment platform. The much anticipated PLAYSTATION 3 Computer Entertainment platform exclusive will retail for $59.99 when it is released on June 12th.

via Kotaku

- Rob O’Rly

Bungie Studios is looking for an experienced engineer with the skills and qualifications to port existing software to a challenging older hardware platform through emulation. This is a contract position and will require about one year of commitment for a single project.

Essential Functions

• Create tools and software to port a classic game to an emulated hardware platform. Define and help implement all processes for creating this and possibly subsequent ports.
• Planning, scheduling, assigning, and tracking the detailed tasks that are port related.
• Collaborate with other engineers to help build simple tools for future emulation projects.

Desired Qualifications

• Knowledge of Hitachi 128 bit chipsets.
• An exceptional understanding of NEC Power VR GPU (2nd generation)
• Understanding of GD ROM and HDD caching.
• Thorough knowledge of Yamaha legacy soundchips.
• Three or more years experience working as a (senior) engineer on a shipped AAA game title.
• Strong collaboration skills.
• Passion for classic hardware.

Please email resumes (along with demo reels, portfolios, sample code, and anything else that demonstrates your skills) to jobs@bungie.com.

This is probably the biggest slap in the face Bungie could have given Microsoft, short of developing for the Wii. The logistics of starting a Dreamcast project this late in the game is just impractical. With Sega having discontinued GD-Rom production, as well as support for their legacy consoles, how many copies of their ported game could they sell?

Could this be the possible first step towards a secret Dreamcast+? A redo featuring motion controls and a hard-disk for downloadable games? Nintendo’s recent success repackaging old N64s must have sparked some latent desires in Sega, because things are certainly looking that way.

We’ve contacted Sega and Bungie to comment on this article. We will update whenever we get a response.

Bungie.net

- Rob O’Rly

Thanks to Blizzard’s recent merger with Guitar Hero Publisher Activision, Bard Class will join the other completely useless things World of Warcraft offers. At least it appears they’ll ape Guitar Hero’s gameplay enough to become somewhat enjoyable, but I’m still skeptical. Mixing ice cream and shit doesn’t result in something mediocre, it just becomes shitty ice cream.

At least the game is easier to look at now.

Oh, Blizzard also announced a World of Warcraft game for consoles called The Molten Core. It looks awful, unsurprisingly. I don’t know why they’re bothering.

- Rob O’Rly

Oh wow, this is amazing! Nintendo’s return to the big screen has finally come and it is a whopper! The Legend of Zelda: The Movie may still be a full year away, but boy if this debut trailer doesn’t get me excited!

Seeing Link go toe to toe with Ganondorf is just so, just so… epic! I can’t wait. I’ll be in line day one!

Day One, Nintendo!

IGN.com

- Rob O’Rly

YA RLY.

- Rob O’Rly

Wonder Boy (SMS; 500 points) - The first game made available from Sega’s Master System, Wonder Boy follows in the bizzare, sorted tradition of Wonder Boy/Monster World/Adventure Island/Dragon’s Curse/Dynastic Hero games. While far too complicated to explain within a few sentences, here is the gist: due to some weird licensing agreements, all of the aforementioned games are actually sort of sequels to one another, made by different publishers and developers and often staring different and unrelated characters. So, despite not sharing a namesake, Wonder Boy is incredibly similar to Advenutre Island, a game already available on the VC. If you’ve already downloaded Adventure Island, then Wonder Boy won’t offer you much. However, if your decision is between the two games, pick Wonder Boy. It has better graphics.

Cruis’n USA (N64; 1,000 points) - Well, here is the other end of the stick. Cruis’n USA wasn’t a particularly good game when it came out near the N64’s launch and unforunately, time has not been kind to the game. Don’t bother with it, there are far better wastes of your money.

A hit and a miss. At least now we can look forward to some Master System games in the future.

- Rob O’Reilly

The new Alien Crush will mark the first new entry in series in 18 years, so some expected changes, like fully 3D, polygonal tables, have been made. A tentative release date of August and support for online leaderboards were also announced. No price was given, but 800 to 1,000 points is likely. Click the images below for larger shots of the game.

For those unfamiliar with the Crush series, both the original Alien Crush and its sequel Devil’s Crush are available for download from the Virtual Console. Devil’s Crush is generally seen as the better of the two, but Alien Crush still has its charms.

- Rob O’Reilly